[Youtube Review][TED] The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TED] The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel

 

This time, I will review the popular YouTube videos.

These days, even if it's good to watch on YouTube, sometimes people skip it or don't watch it if it's too long.

When you watch Youtube, do you scroll and read the comments first?

To save your busy time, why don't you check out the fun contents, summary, and empathy comments of popular YouTube videos first and watch YouTube?

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TED] The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa0RUmGTCYY

 

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Playtime Comments : [TED] The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel

Ma******:

*doesn't have girlfriend
*has test tomorrow
*in youtube at 2:00am
*continues watching

Da***************:

If you go to 14:44 and press pause, it looks like she's a curious dinosaur.

ap*********:

the anecdote about her childhood village is terribly underappreciated.
10:57

He************:

The look from the girl at 1:07 is so cool. Talk about capturing interest

 

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Top Comments : [TED] The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel

Ca*********:

Her vocabulary has to be maxed prestige.

ha********:

Damn I need a relationship before I can start worrying about keeping the sex going...

I hate valentines day.

Ca****:

wooooaaa woooaaa all of my respects!!! you talk like a real professional, like someone who really cares for investigation and understanding of a subject... now you have a big fan!!! so many true tings, like wanting intimacy but space at the same time, and, well, just god, the whole 20 min were golden words!!!

Ma*****************:

Went to the cinema with my boyfriend the other week. The lady at the cashier had her first day and messed a few things up. She panicked and apologized over and over again. He told her to calm down, that it's totally fine and that she's doing an awesome job. Then he made jokes about his first day at work. I love him even more in moments like these.

Ka***************:

She is my all-time favorite TED speaker, so eloquent, so succinct, and funny to boot!

bl******************:

beautifully explained. basically the whole point lays in the attachment theory. very psychodynamic, love it!

Wa*************:

Mystery it doesn't mean always going to different places its looking at the same thing through different eyes...best fact from this Esther Perel.

Ch*********:

So, basically, to have passion in desire in your relationships, you have to have it within yourself, in your personal endeavors. If you are a boring person, who just gets by in life with the same ol situation, everyday, with the same ol attitude, and never move outside of your comfort zone for anything, then that is going to translate into your relationships. But if you are energetic, interesting, creative, and able to make the same ol situation into something novel and enjoyable on a regular basis, and you are fascinated by your career, fascinated by your life in general, then that will translate into your personal relationship and eroticism.

Take-away from this: To maintain desire in your relationship, have a desire in life itself. Otherwise you just go through the same ol motions everyday, going nowhere and doing nothing, and that's what your relationship will become, too.

Also: Don't have kids. Ever. Kids put you into a mindset of being needed, rather than wanted, and into a mode of providing, rather than enticing. You can't be the fun, interesting person that desire desires when you have to make decisions in life based upon the well-being of helpless humans who need you to be stable, regular, predictable, and reliable.

Responsibility is the enemy to spontaneity and therefore to desire.

So what do those of us who are divorced with kid(s) do?

Al*************************:

I bet her husband felt SO MUCH drawn to her when she was delivering this talk :D

Hi****:

She is sooo good!!!!

me*****:

PHENOMENAL. So glad I watched this.

Mu*********:

This might apply to writing as well. Sounds like it works...

ne***************:

I absolutely love her voice and good content

Gr*******:

I love to watch my partner is sleeping. His face is so peaceful. I want to kiss his relaxed lips. Feel his breath against my skin. He is giving me energy to get going to face another beautiful day !
That is my foreplay ...making breakfast together wearing just bottoms or light gown touching each other , bumping into each other on purpose , stolen kisses ....
It beautiful...

Sc***********:

She;s GREAT! LEARNed alot from this

An*********:

One of the best speeches to listen to through the years about couple, love and desire. Thank you, merci mille fois Esther Perel! ^^

su**************:

This has opend my eyes wide open. Thank you

pi**************:

I love how she pronounces the word "confident"...great speech, btw :)

Se***********:

Every time I scroll through the comments on this talk, there are always so many people who had something click in their mind and it resonates with them. Esther is an amazing speaker and it's so rare to see such a positive response to a TED talk on youtube. I came across this talk a few years ago, and it really helped shape my understanding of relationships. My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years, and any time I felt like that desire was waning I thought about why I was turning myself off, and being able to have that inward reflection rather than trying to figure out what my partner "wasn't giving me" made such a huge difference in how we would get over a rut. I feel like every couple should watch this talk.

Sh*******:

Only a French person could get away with this talk so smoothly. That accent made it sound more convincing.

De**********:

On our 51st Valentine's Day, I can attest to the truth of this presentation. Excellent words to live by.

Ca*************:

As a Person who was raised by a really over protective grandma I barely can feel pleasure in my life, Everything is so scary to me now, I grew up like the child who looks over his shoulder to see if his mother is angry, My last partner was someone who was exactly the opposite of me and my worries about him not coming back when he went to experience pleasure was taking over my life and I felt lost , I did nit have any idea why I felt that way till I saw this video, thank you so much Esther for make it much more clear for me

Pr********:

Woaah. What an amazing speaker!
This is great knowledge being shared. Thanks Ms. Perel :)

na*********:

Thank you Esther Perel for stimulating my brain's G spot with that talk!

E*:

I just love Esther Perel she is so accurate about the dynamic of relationship. It's nice that she's helping us all to be aware of the pit fall of relationships. Awareness is always a good thing to prevent pit falls in relationships, not to say we should think about it all the time that we get paranoid, but to use the tool how to improve and prevent through communication between couples.

Sh**********:

Hi!
ms Esther Parel.you have a wonderful way of speaking and explaining..i love your speeches..
thanking you
Sheetal..

co********:

I absolutely LOVED this Ted Talk... this describes my previous relationship in so many levels... I should send him the video so he can learn something out of it, because after having broken up 2 times I don't honestly believe he did learn the essence of what I was feeling... :(
Merci beaucoup Esther!

Be***********:

I needed to hear this. Feeling somewhat lost in my relationship. I’m quick to blame the other person, when the intimacy fades. This just makes so much sense.

Be*********:

I'd like to hear this woman's take on the abundance of pornography in the internet age and it's effects on human relationships.

Lu***:

crisis of desire = crisis of imagination

Sc********:

I think my wife is most drawn to me when she is eating carrots or almonds or something. Anything super crunchy makes her snuggle right up to my ear hole.

Ad****************:

Responsibility and desire don't work together.
Erotic couples know how to resurrect passion.
Intentional and willful Spontaneity.
Thank you so much, Esther.

He**********:

When she said that people expect lust to fall from the heaven when you're folding the laundry, I thought "It'd fall from heaven if HE was folding the laundry" XD

ja*******:

What I got from it is: you (both) have to be happy with who you are in order to be happy in a relationship. If you have a passion, if you are fulfilled in other field than love, you will give yourselves, and at the same time - each other - space to pursue that. Hence all the things she mentioned: no turnoffs caused by not feeling worthy of pleasure, no turnoffs caused by overly protectiveness, great turn-on when seeing each other being yourselves. Sure, I simplified it, but if you get individual happiness, your chances to be happy in a relationship and in bed are so much greater.

PA************************:

I've always had this nostalgic feeling about my husband, like when i look at him, its home, its my best friend, its this person i know, but i also feel simultaneously Like im looking at a stranger, who i could never even begin to know... I think that is the fine line you must dance upon, when you realize that you can never truly know any one, you can't hear their thoughts for sure, you can't even be one hundred percent sure they aren't lying to you. Whose to say any one has ever told the truth? we just dont know.... Well when you realize that... if you can let go of it, like release all stress that comes from that ultimate truth... No fear, or insecurity, paranoia or jealousy. You accept them for what you think they are, but they are mysterious because you dont know, factually what your dealing with when it comes to other human beings, and theres a huge illusion of "familiarity" or "knowingness".... You play with that illusion, of "knowing who some one is" and you feel at home... But you know you will never know them, so you play with that illusion, to be interested, to want to know, to want to learn the mysteries of this other person... And you get to know some things about them, and that makes the connection, and that feeds the desire for security..... But your always longing for more, because you know, deep down, You'll never really know him, or understand him... You'll never be him, so you can just play this illusion to get as close as you can, because whats unattainable is always desirable

ja*******:

What I got from it is: you (both) have to be happy with yourselves to be happy in a relationship. If you have a passion and are fulfilled in other fields than love, you will give yourself, and at the same time - each other, space to pursue that. And from that come all the things she mentioned: no turnoffs caused by not feeling worthy of pleasure, no turnoffs caused by overly protectiveness. Sure, it's not that simple, but if you get individual happiness, your chances of happiness in relationship and in bed are so much greater.

 

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[TED] We gathered comments about popular videos and looked at them in summary, including play time, and order of popularity.

It's a good video or channel, but if you're sad because it's too long, please leave a YouTube channel or video link and I'll post it on this blog.

 

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