[Youtube Review][TED] Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TED] Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner

 

This time, I will review the popular YouTube videos.

These days, even if it's good to watch on YouTube, sometimes people skip it or don't watch it if it's too long.

When you watch Youtube, do you scroll and read the comments first?

To save your busy time, why don't you check out the fun contents, summary, and empathy comments of popular YouTube videos first and watch YouTube?

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TED] Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo

 

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Playtime Comments : [TED] Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner

Ta***********:

4:40 typical narcissist tactic - love bombing phase!!

sa*********************:

3:50
"But instead of screaming GET AWAY CREEP like i did to the other men who would sit by me on the train, this guy had and sense of danger and violence surrounding him....so we got married"

 

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Top Comments : [TED] Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner

Re******:

I love the fact she mentions his name. You rock!

gi*********:

I walked away from my husband when he began physically abusing me and I never went back. I credit my father. From a very young age, my father taught me that a man who hits a woman is not a man. Those words have stuck with me throughout my life. I think all fathers should teach their daughters this lesson.

Su*******************:

Watch out with your animals - my precious baby was killed -

Po*********:

I thought I wasn't with an abuser because I was doing everything to prevent them from getting mad. I didn't realize that that was abuse.

Vi*********:

Domestic violence not only affect women but kids too. In worst way

Su*******************:

I was abused as child had narc crazy man - dead dog - threat to kill me - I went no contact 1 year ago - im,still alive thank god

Nu********:

I used to think these women who stayed were crazy...until I became one of them.

M*:

My mom lived it in the 1960's before everyone was talking about it. all rights reserved

F*:

The girls around my age really heard my story and had to say, "oh where there's love there will be crazy anger"," oh hes too emotional (with a subtle sadness wishing her partner wasn’t as "indifferent" rather this much "caring")", some even saw my subtle wounds and those horrific situations i had to go through and said " oh its because of this" "its because of that" "this happened on such a petty matter, you couldve handled the situation better, he loves you so much he'd understand"," oh that place is sensitive enough already thats why the wound looks so nasty, if it hit upon the bone or strong muscles it wouldn’t look so bad"...the society and their abominable sense of love plays one of the most vital roles in the victims stay in an abusive marriage.
Abuse always Isn't this much grandiose. Sometimes it takes a much steeper fall all so sudden deflecting from a steady amount of harassment and then people around us really start victim shaming only to make the victims life harder than it already is.

Ok*******:

Sadly victims don't always get help when they try to get it. I was in a relationship much like hers, and when I started telling my coworkers because I was finally done with it, one of my co-workers came over to me and told me to keep my business to myself and people didn't need to hear what I was going through. So I say, if someone comes to you, don't shush them, help them.

Ca***********:

I was abused for 27 years of my life. I escaped; changed my name, safe so far.

Ma**************:

We Can Never Fix a Troubled Man. He has to fix himself

da**********:

This video is a video that has been permanently ingrained in my mind for the past two years. Two years ago when I first watch this video I was in an abusive relationship. This video played a major role in giving me the courage to leave, and for that I will be forever grateful, watching this video was a major turning point in my life.

Em********:

Excellent talk. This is such an important yet under appreciated issue.

Li**********:

I'm in an abusive household, and was just about to take my brother and mother out of here. Then I realised just how many husbands in my country are going to or already serving sentences for murdering their spouses, now I've decided I'm not leaving this for now. If I do, then I will possibly, definitely die.

Edit: I wish I had the chance to see the early signs, but I was born into an abusive relationship, so I've been here in this place my whole life.

Ra********:

Obviously stay single ladies!! It’s awesome

Me*********:

Oh my gosh, this is my story. I met my ex at 18 and just like you he wad an absolute gentleman in the beginning. It started with him being in control, to verbal abuse then physical abuse. My last straw was when he bought a gun. I started planning my way out and was lucky enough to leave. Thank you for breaking the silence.

aq********:

Teach us, make us wise not all man nice

Al*************:

I remember making peace with the idea that I was going to get killed regardless if I had stayed or if leave. Everything that I was afraid of happened to me he showed up to my job and beat me in front of everyone and no one did anything to stop him he showed up to my house drunk and no one called the police and finally his whole family knew and no one stopped him.
I am happy to be alive and after years of therapy I have been able to forgive myself

Ta****:

This is so painful I felt everything

Ma********:

I listen to this every time I consider going back.

Ro************:

One day I'll know what it's like to be truly loved by a good man.

wo******:

I didn’t think I was a victim I thought I was a brave woman saving a troubled man YES

NR******:

im starting to wonder if people who abuse others have the capacity to genuinely love someone? it seems to be fake love, and something i cant understand why a man does it. or a woman to a man in some cases.

Mu**********:

Well, well, well Conner was/is a narcissist! I know I was with one too, glad I dumped him. Amen to this lady, thank you!

Ra*******:

The part where she said she didn't think of herself as a victim; she was a strong, independent woman who was helping a troubled man...I think I just woke up to my current situation.

sr*******:

Ladies please realize you CAN'T help an abusive man. No good man would ever hurt you. You deserve better.

Ru******:

Ummm. I hate that people ask "Why does she stay?".. The much better question is "Why does he hit her?"

Jo********:

My husband/abuser was carrying a gun daily, and he was the one you called for help...yes he was a police officer. My only defense was to leave quietly and quickly. He remarried immediately, I feel sorry for her.

Te********:

Thank you for sharing your story. I spent far too many years being angry at my Mom for not leaving.

Pa**********:

The system works against victims in every possible way

El********:

This is my story I was with him for 13 years then God took him away so my 3 kids and me could be happy and free.

Ka******:

My family pushed and pushed me to become independent before I decide to get married so if anything like this happens I have the means to pack everything, take the babies and RUN.

Sa*********:

After my ex beat me he'd say " you know what to do" meaning go cover the bruises he stalked and tried to kill me when I left but I did exactly what she did and told everyone even tho some didnt take me seriously I wanted them to know incase he killed me! but in the end I got myself and our child away from him! Its been 4 yrs and my brains still fucked up

Ch****:

I am a man who is a domestic abuse survivor - my abuser was a female, my ex-fiancée.

I was much larger than her, and I didn’t take it too seriously until she broke several of my ribs during one of her “fits” - I offered “benefit of the doubt” following each instance, as I was never afraid until she framed me for what she did for me (performed a cry for neighbors while I was injured - screaming “how could I let this happen to me”).

I loved this person with all my heart - did my best to be a good and patient husband. It took me a while to trust myself again after realizing how scary it was to realize I got played so badly - landed me back into childhood household (where no coincidence where I was abused - it has been so strange to be abused again like I was as a child).

I am grateful that this is not the end of me, and I am grateful to know that my empathy and sensitivity is a valuable gift.

I am grateful to know my worth and o know I deserve a life that respects me.

Why did I stay?
I didn’t know the difference.

Also, she (fiancée) was far less worse than the only place I had to turn (childhood home).

I had been super popular prior to dating/getting engaged to this person - I left a totally isolated man, without a friend to call who hadn’t been manipulated by her lies (she alienated me from my friends before this - total control addict, as she would convince me they should not be trusted and that they were “jealous” of me for having such a wonderful/pretty girlfriend - super effective at convincing me to abandon many of my friends who were single).

ku*******:

I just got out of my abusive relationship a week ago. It’s painful. He was emotional at first and then physical. I don’t want to admit that I still love him because I loved him so much.

He tried to stab me, he broke my fingers, and tried to kill me by strangling me. Why didn’t I leave? I grew up with abuse and was in the Child and Youth Care field, where we are taught to use a strength based approach. I wanted to help him and make him feel like he could heal.

I was sure he was my soulmate...and now I’m left with this hole. But I’m trying my hardest to be strong. He isn’t in jail but he can’t come near me. And I hope I am as strong as this woman right here. Thank you.

D:

My name is Joshua David and i am a former foster youth and domestic violence survivor. Let me start out by saying that I am truly grateful for this community, it is very inspiring for me to see people that really care. Growing up i struggled to make sense of my world, witnessing the abuse of my mother by my father and her boy friends. As a result i spent a great amount of time in foster care as a child. I kept in touch with my mom and always held on to hope and worked hard in school. I have dedicated everyday to rebuild my relationship with my mother and be a loving person in her life. My mom was my hero because no matter what happened she was so loving and kind to us. I am blessed to have been able to go to college and have been working hard to make my dreams come true. I have been making films since college and am currently doing a fundraiser for a film about domestic violence, maintaining hope and overcoming adversity. If you have time to check it out, I would be truly grateful.


https://www.gofundme.com/f/ayby3y-pippy-longstocking-and-the-wild-flower


Thank you,

F*:

If you are one of the victims watching this video please-
1) keep photos of wounds and marks in a place where he or his family/ allys would never find
2) keep a journal of your abuse also hidden from him with explicit details because you will forget everything. Prolonged exposure to psychological and physical abuse makes the memory container of the brain shrink as it forms a habit of only reacting to adrenaline rush on how to handle/cope with an abusive situation making the adjacent compartment of memory container shrink to a smaller size
3) you might even go back to him just after a huge step of leaving him did not go as successful, because he "really loves you", in that case keep a fat amount of money at least to survive on your own for a year hidden from his sight and knowledge
4) slowly start letting your family and friends know- breaking the news one day all on a sudden makes them question the credibility of your statement and this will make you feel more indecisive whether to leave him or not
5) cognitive desonence-where you are still in love with your abuser and will keep thinking if you leave him something bad would happen to him or his family - trust me youre fooling yourself. They all live better although the harassment will continue on you forever. In that case seek help from police.
6) you will find a lot of ppl who would actually support your abusers crazy love and kind of look down upon you as if you were inadequate in some way to bring this upon yourself- think about those people later. Save your own skin first. People who has the slightest good interest in their heart for you would never say anything like that. Prepare to get rid of them in future.
7) i dont have kids but if you do please be more strong, try to live with a strong guardian figure for the next few years.
If youre still halving troubles making a decision ask yourselves, is this normal? Someone you love hitting you for every little argument, someone always trying to bully you into a fight and then hit you? Isnt it a bit unnatural that every incident is a discreet matter but still results in the same way?
Religious scholars and family might even tell you to have faith and wait patiently for him to change, but this abusive trait is a by-product of narcissistic personality disorder(NPD). There are numerous studies on the internet about this. Educate yourself.
They always stalk. They are always so sorry. They always eventually realize their mistakes but psychology says they never change. Its only worse when you go back after you decide to leave him. I talked with someone who stayed in an abusive marriage for only 18 months but still her ex followed her for 40 years- "he's still sorry", "he still loves her".

 

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[TED] We gathered comments about popular videos and looked at them in summary, including play time, and order of popularity.

It's a good video or channel, but if you're sad because it's too long, please leave a YouTube channel or video link and I'll post it on this blog.

 

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