[Youtube Review][TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

 

This time, I will review the popular YouTube videos.

These days, even if it's good to watch on YouTube, sometimes people skip it or don't watch it if it's too long.

When you watch Youtube, do you scroll and read the comments first?

To save your busy time, why don't you check out the fun contents, summary, and empathy comments of popular YouTube videos first and watch YouTube?

(Recommended)Popular Videos : [TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5VhaicC6g

 

---

 

Summary Comments : [TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

Na***********:

Intimacy,, security, respect, good communication, a sense of being valued.
On the bad side: fighting too much, not being able to go to your partner for support, contempt, hostility, violence.


The problem: Do you know what to do on a day to day basis to create that healthy relationship?


1. Know what you need and want from a partner and a relationship
2. Choose the right partner
3. Having a good set of skills


Skills:


1. Insight.
2. Mutuality
3. Emotion Regulation

Fa*********:

Healthy relationships:
Selecting the right person!
3 skills:
1. Insight: learning and understanding yourself and your partner. What is really right 4 you.
2. Mutuality: willing to meet your partner needs/ decisions.
3. Emotions regulations ( keep everything in perspective) tolerate uncomfortable situations) self respect.

 

---

 

Playtime Comments : [TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

Me************:

8:46 - 9:06 it depends on what's taking so long let's be real here. It alllllll depends

 

---

 

Top Comments : [TEDx Talks] Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU

Lu********:

This is all very good in theory but if you haven't been brought up in a secure environment, to develop this level of awareness and self-confidence then it's no simple matter to learn emotional regulation in particular. This research just seems to reiterate that those lucky enough to have a good start in life and consequent secure attachment are going to do well in relationships, those who haven't are going to struggle. Where is the intervention?

Qu******:

How to create a healthy relationship; be yourself... if you have to act like someone else that is a sick relatoinship.

Ca**********:

YES BUT HOW?

Lu**************:

Love is not looking into each other eyes but also looking the same direction

ra**********:

I'm in my first relationship as a young adult. It's long distance (but he's here for three months), 7 months and going strong. Constantly looking for ways to strengthen our relationship, even though it seems rock solid now. I want us to get married. We're both very relationship competent, always looking for ways to strengthen it. I guess I need this video but an 'advanced version', because my partner and I are already doing and displaying all of these things.

De**********:

I have a healthier relationship with my dog than most people

an****:

Everyone agrees that emotional intelligence and awareness are essential. The real question is how to acquire those skills? How does a person learn insight, mutuality and emotional regulation?

S*:

I wish they'd teach this in schools. We are sent off into the world with no financial education, relationship training, or real-world skills. If you come from a family lacking of, or dysfunctional in, any of these areas, good luck; you are likely to repeat what you've been exposed to.

ic***********:

But where's the fun in that?? If you ask your partner for a specific thing and they give it to you, you only get the thing. But if they get it right, you know that THEY are being insightful!!!

To**:

There's a great book called 'Relationships and Higher Purpose' by Marshall Vian Summers. I've found that really insightful and helpful in my life.

Ro********:

Fantastic set of skills to highlight which are beneficial every situation, not just romantic relationships. But to me the most important point she made was that this education is almost too late once you're already married, once you've even just chosen a partner. This education has to start much earlier.

Bi****:

...That birthday gift would have been a bigger disaster if her partner said: you know we need to save this money. I am disappointed in you, I cannot believe how selfish you are, You are ruining this for us"
Anyway, I think that the example was wrong

Al************:

She identified these 3 skills for so long and then just didn’t explain how to develop or use them...

da*****:

At 1.33...''we need to teach people how to have healthy relationships''............THE TRUTH!!! I am from the UK, highly educated in the system including attending Cambridge University....and NOT ONCE was I taught vital information like communication and conflict resolution, nor any other crucial life skills that you can think of.......

Cu*****:

I'm educating myself for my future girlfriend

Fe***:

Firstly ,we need to know ourselves, our personality and our need. thanks for the researchers

Er**********:

"with insight, you'll be able to understand your partner more"

she sounds like she's unveiling new software.

Wa************:

It's good information, but am I the only one who feels like she's trying to sell me something?

We*************:

Critical response: She spends a solid three minutes in a redundant circle of "people who are romantically competent have romantically competent experiences" . This is merely presumptive of what constitutes a healthy relationship without insight into how to develop such elements. This is about as insightful as saying "when the sky is blue, we see a blue sky." While I support a discourse that clearly identifies the most fundamental elements of a healthy relationship, this presentation would be much stronger if she mentioned some of the tools for achieving: insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. Her call to action has zero power as she tells us that we must teach people how to be more romantically competent without actually giving us any utilities or resources. Granted there are some anecdotal inferences to why the application of the skills would work but there is no concrete information about the skills themselves; they are passively mentioned. In this way, this presentation is much like an infomercial... infomercials love to say, "in the next five minutes we'll tell you the secret to..." without actually telling us the secret to anything. This talk is inspirational at best and at least entertaining.

Ja****:

Wow, this has helped me so much and has opened my mind to a realm of new perspectives within a relationship

iD*********:

Today teaching HEALTHY relationships is vital!

ni**************:

Lol these are principles from the scriptures...just saying lol

Aw***************:

Both partners need to put in effort to make it work. Sadly, most relationships are at least somewhat one sided.

Ms***************:

The problem with the speaker's approach is that she fails to address the very basics of human nature. People are unskillful in relationships BECAUSE they had traumatic early year experiences, because they have low self-esteem, because they never learnt how to trust people (coming from a dangerous/unpredictable environment).
I fail to see how teaching people relationship skills could solve relationship problems. To be somewhat arbitrary, I think people need to sort themselves out first, and then they will naturally have satisfying relationships. A person who thinks of him/herself as valuable and worthy of love, would not deny themselves asking support from their partner when he/she needs it.
The problem isn't that the person doesn't ask for support in a relationship from their partner (that is just the consequence), the problem is that the person has a problem with themselves (for instance low self-esteem -- if I dont think I'm worthy of my partner's attention then how could I ask for it? I wont because that would make me feel guilty).

Ol**********:

First lesson: find yourself a partner who is willing to learn and develop themselves alongside you.

Em*********:

She hypnotized me.....

Me*******:

I'm really bad at regulating emotions. I feel discarded/abandoned the minute someone that I care about seems distant. As a result, I also back away because I've had experiences in the past where I get hurt from trying to bridge the gap when someone is distant.

o0********:

Sometimes you just need to hear a TedTalk like this to help you sort through your thoughts in a more positive, analytical way.

Ja****:

What I can take from this is as a partner, we gotta be understanding, have a good faith in our partner, be calm and reasonable.

Xx***********:

From the second video....

To me I feel I have to get better with me emotional regulations.I honestly Want to be à family but the building blocking of the foundation I. setting are very unstable. I have to be able to regulate my fight or flight mode more respectable.

so*****:

I just want someone whos committed to me. All girls for the first year are perfect and are there for me emotionally. Then all of a sudden they lose interest and start avoiding me and stop answering my calls. I was not clingy or anything like that. It just happens.

Al******:

I love this. I need emotional regulation. I don’t want anything to do with my bipolar illness

J*:

we need this wisdom instead of all this pornography etc.

So***************:

As someone that's been married for 17 years I concur. But I would add that what is being described here are core competencies of being a decent human being. I would suggest that these tips be applied to all our relationships and that humans should acquire them long before they decide to get married.

cx*******:

Points: Insight, mutuality and emotion regulation.
Insight - Awareness, understanding and learning. Knowing what's right for you.
Mutuality - Knowing both people have needs and both needs matter, and working to meet those needs.
Emotion Regulation - Regulating your feelings in response to things that happen in the relationship. Tolerate uncomfortable feelings and not lash out.

Good talk. A lot of people need to see this. Wish I saw this 20 years ago. Now I feel totally emotionally incompetent and feel like it's just too much of a hassle to try to connect with people.

Th********:

WOW. THIS VIDEO IS REALLY ABOUT HOW to love and be loved actively rather than be at the mercy of romantic impulses. Some videos are entitled "How" but instead are more about "Why", feel good messages and stories about love or about "What" to avoid or look for.
She outlines SPECIFIC SKILLS that are the means to the end, the day to day approaches, behaviors that over time result in holistic success' or failures of relationships. Even her antidote is so specific that it is truly instructive about the end result of the micro movements, the mini goals (which add up to the big goal) little things we do every day add up.
Primary points and content:
Intimate relationship skills can be learned and taught.
Work on skill development ASAP/practice before we are committing to a relationship.
Romantic competence=Ability to competently function adaptively throughout relationship life cycles.
Romantic competence is founded up and comprised of three basic skills of insight, mutuality and emotional regulation which enable us to know our our needs, pick the right person, build a satisfying relationship and exit a wrong one and be more contented individuals also.
She gives excellent detail about what, in terms of day to day behaviors the three basic skills look like, functionally.

Li*************:

Thank you for such a brilliant talk! It may seem so simple for some people, and they'd say that there's nothing they do not know about. But how difficult these points are! For me personally the emotion regulation is the most complicated one. If you read my comment, please, give your examples on how you're reaching it. It seems impossible to me with such a wide range of strong diverse feelings. I'd love to have some conversations on this topic, especially in terms of different mentality of people from all over the world.

 

---

 

[TEDx Talks] We gathered comments about popular videos and looked at them in summary, including play time, and order of popularity.

It's a good video or channel, but if you're sad because it's too long, please leave a YouTube channel or video link and I'll post it on this blog.

 

---

 

[TEDx Talks] Channel Posting

[TEDx Talks] 5 techniques to speak any language | Sid Efromovich | TEDxUpperEastSide

[TEDx Talks] A well educated mind vs a well formed mind: Dr. Shashi Tharoor at TEDxGateway 2013

[TEDx Talks] Actitud | Victor Küppers | TEDxAndorralaVella

[TEDx Talks] After watching this, your brain will not be the same | Lara Boyd | TEDxVancouver

[TEDx Talks] Body language, the power is in the palm of your hands | Allan Pease | TEDxMacquarieUniversity

[TEDx Talks] Cambia tus pensamientos y cambia tu actitud | César Lozano | TEDxUANL

[TEDx Talks] Carrot clarinet | Linsey Pollak | TEDxSydney

[TEDx Talks] Forget what you know | Jacob Barnett | TEDxTeen

[TEDx Talks] Go with your gut feeling | Magnus Walker | TEDxUCLA

[TEDx Talks] Gratitude | Louie Schwartzberg | TEDxSF

[TEDx Talks] Hackschooling makes me happy | Logan LaPlante | TEDxUniversityofNevada

[TEDx Talks] Happiness is all in your mind: Gen Kelsang Nyema at TEDxGreenville 2014

[TEDx Talks] He threw acid on my face, not on my dreams | Laxmi Agarwal | TEDxJaipur

[TEDx Talks] How "SHE" became an IAS officer | Surabhi Gautam | TEDxRGPV

[TEDx Talks] How a 13 year old changed 'Impossible' to 'I'm Possible' | Sparsh Shah | TEDxGateway

[TEDx Talks] How do you define yourself? | Lizzie Velasquez | TEDxAustinWomen

[TEDx Talks] How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals | Stephen Duneier | TEDxTucson

[TEDx Talks] How to Become a Millionaire in 3 Years | Daniel Ally | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege

[TEDx Talks] How to Get Your Brain to Focus | Chris Bailey | TEDxManchester

[TEDx Talks] How to become a memory master | Idriz Zogaj | TEDxGoteborg

[TEDx Talks] How to find and do work you love | Scott Dinsmore | TEDxGoldenGatePark (2D)

[TEDx Talks] How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes | Adam Leipzig | TEDxMalibu

[TEDx Talks] How to motivate yourself to change your behavior | Tali Sharot | TEDxCambridge

[TEDx Talks] How to sound smart in your TEDx Talk | Will Stephen | TEDxNewYork

[TEDx Talks] How waking up every day at 4.30am can change your life | Filipe Castro Matos | TEDxAUBG

[TEDx Talks] I grew up in a cult. It was heaven -- and hell. | Lilia Tarawa | TEDxChristchurch

[TEDx Talks] It is okay not to have a plan | Mithila Palkar | TEDxNITSilchar

[TEDx Talks] Learning a language? Speak it like you’re playing a video game | Marianna Pascal | TEDxPenangRoad

[TEDx Talks] Life is easy. Why do we make it so hard? | Jon Jandai | TEDxDoiSuthep

[TEDx Talks] MEETING THE ENEMY A feminist comes to terms with the Men's Rights movement | Cassie Jaye | TEDxMarin

[TEDx Talks] My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

[TEDx Talks] No Sex Marriage – Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame | Maureen McGrath | TEDxStanleyPark

[TEDx Talks] No fabriques fantasías cuando quieras realidades | Odin Dupeyron | TEDxYouth@BosquesDeLasLomas

[TEDx Talks] Start with why -- how great leaders inspire action | Simon Sinek | TEDxPugetSound

[TEDx Talks] Stop searching for your passion | Terri Trespicio | TEDxKC

[TEDx Talks] The Magic of Not Giving a F*** | Sarah Knight | TEDxCoconutGrove

[TEDx Talks] The art of being yourself | Caroline McHugh | TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen

[TEDx Talks] The art of seduction | Seema Anand | TEDxEaling

[TEDx Talks] The first 20 hours -- how to learn anything | Josh Kaufman | TEDxCSU

[TEDx Talks] The power of seduction in our everyday lives | Chen Lizra | TEDxVancouver

[TEDx Talks] The psychology of self-motivation | Scott Geller | TEDxVirginiaTech

[TEDx Talks] The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU

[TEDx Talks] The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU

[TEDx Talks] Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right | Laura Sicola | TEDxPenn

[TEDx Talks] What does the Quran really say about a Muslim woman's hijab? | Samina Ali | TEDxUniversityofNevada

[TEDx Talks] What makes you special? | Mariana Atencio | TEDxUniversityofNevada

[TEDx Talks] When money isn’t real: the $10,000 experiment | Adam Carroll | TEDxLondonBusinessSchool

[TEDx Talks] Why I read a book a day (and why you should too): the law of 33% | Tai Lopez | TEDxUBIWiltz

[TEDx Talks] Why I, as a black man, attend KKK rallies. | Daryl Davis | TEDxNaperville

[TEDx Talks] Why people believe they can’t draw - and how to prove they can | Graham Shaw | TEDxHull

 

---